welcome to my head

Photo

Thu, 16 May 2013 20:25:46 -0400

ask-the-10th-doctor: vanillabobo: lastglimpsetheatre: dolphinh...

Thu, 16 May 2013 19:56:08 -0400

vanillabobo:

lastglimpsetheatre:

dolphinhats:

alicexz:

toothyhalcyon:

Welcome to Tumblr.

Holy shit this is the most accurate post I have ever seen in my life

wait…this is a completely different gif set on my blog…

Reblog this and then check it on your Tumblr. Go on, do it.

omg HOW??

The last one… WTF?!

thatgreenlight: I do not own this photo - credit goes to...

Mon, 13 May 2013 22:17:01 -0400

thatgreenlight:

I do not own this photo - credit goes to whoever took it
I only own this edit.

kissingingraveyards: How To Make Love halffizzbin: cricketandperv: violetsunnyklaus: About seven...

Mon, 13 May 2013 22:11:32 -0400

kissingingraveyards:

How To Make Love

halffizzbin:

cricketandperv:

violetsunnyklaus:

About seven years ago, all my friends my age got married. And about three years after that, they all started having babies, which set into motion the idea that eventually they’re gonna have to talk about sex to their kids. And that just freaks me out. I have cats—they were broken, but now they’re fixed—so I don’t have to worry about this. However, if I had the opportunity to suddenly be confronted by my son as a young man asking me for advice about sex… with girls… this is what I would say.

One: Buy condoms. Buy them and keep them with you at all times, and use them before you are asked to use them. And use them every time. The peace of mind you allow your partner will free her to be vulnerable with you, and that, my son, is exactly what sex is about. Condoms are sexy. In fact, call buying condoms foreplay. (Footnote: If you are too embarrassed to buy condoms, you are not ready to have sex.)

Two: Kissing is not merely foreplay. Spend entire evenings making out on the couch while fully clothed. Believe me, dry-humping rocks.

Three: Sex is not just about friction. It’s about emotion. Stop trying to find her clitoris and find her heart. Because then she’ll help you find her clitoris.

Four: If you really wanna know how to please a woman, ask her how she masturbates. Then do that. A lot. If she claims she doesn’t masturbate, offer to take her shopping for a vibrator so you can both learn the vocabulary of her body together.

Five: Don’t put anything in her butthole you wouldn’t want in your own. (Footnote: Try a pinky finger, it’s kinda awesome.)

Six: When you go down on her—and you will go down on her, and if you are my son, you will be amazing at it—tell her how good she tastes. Stop in the middle and kiss her deeply so she knows how good she tastes. Do the same when she goes down on you.

Seven: A simple Google search will yield 1,327 euphemisms for male masturbation, yet only 23 for female masturbation. If guys spent less time jacking off and more time jilling off, this world would be a happier place.

Eight: Everything you need to know about the importance of the clitoris is in the movie Star Wars. You are Luke Skywalker piloting your penis-shaped X-Wing Fighter deep inside her trench. Remember: seventy percent of all Death Stars cannot be blown up through penetration of the trench alone. It must be through focused contact with that little exhaust port at the top of the trench. Otherwise, any explosions you experience will be merely Hollywood special effects.

Nine: Just because you come doesn’t mean she has, so don’t you dare come before her. Focus completely on your partner. Don’t worry about gettin’ yours, you’re a guy. You always get yours. Your job is to make sure she’s gettin’ hers.

Ten: If sex with your partner lasts no longer than this poem, you are not making love. You are masturbating with her body instead of your hand. Shame on you. Go back to step one. You’ve got a lot of learning to do.

Love, Dad.

This guy’s writing is fantastic. And also OMG STAR WARS.

Holy shit this is literally all you need to know.

“Oh yes. The woman in the picture is me.”

Wed, 01 May 2013 22:24:43 -0400

“Oh yes. The woman in the picture is me.”

moonkistprincess: madmadamemolly: growlywolf: choochoomothafuc...

Wed, 01 May 2013 22:20:51 -0400

moonkistprincess:

madmadamemolly:

growlywolf:

choochoomothafucka:

Source

What gay men give to the world. A-yup.

On the second one.

There’s this one gay club I go to that actually has a problem of straight guys going there to dance with girls. I guess these guys don’t understand that girls can also be gay, because they assume that any girls at the club are there with their gay guy friends.

So one night I was out on the dance floor, and I see this guy. He’s like over six-foot, at least, all beefed-up, muscle shirt, looks kindof like a douchebag. And he’s just circling the dance floor, in one continuous loop, looking at the crowd like a predator, and it’s creeping me the fuck out.

It’s creeping me out enough that I don’t immediately realize what’s going on nearby. Some girl has attracted one of the Assholes, who has proceeded to begin grinding on her. She’s pushing him away, telling him to get lost. He’s pulling that whole, “come on, don’t be a bitch” spiel, and generally just not getting the message.

BAM. Suddenly, the prowling guy swoops in, like some sort of Gay Avenger. He shoves himself between the girl and the Asshole, grabs the Asshole by the hips, and starts dirty dancing him like a God-damned fuck machine. Asshole completely flips his shit, like how DARE another man try to dance with him at a GAY BAR???, starts spitting curses, and tears ass off the dance floor and out onto the sidewalk.

The Gay Avenger turns back to the girl, inclines his head in an, “are you okay?” sort of gesture. She nods, and he returns to his previous position of circling the dance floor, looking for his next target.

Told this story to some guys upstairs. Apparently Gay Avenger is a regular there.

gay avenger.

Photo

Tue, 30 Apr 2013 19:55:14 -0400

deantrippe: last day to reblog

Tue, 30 Apr 2013 19:51:30 -0400

deantrippe:

last day to reblog

Photo

Thu, 18 Apr 2013 20:35:40 -0400

wouldyouliketoseemymask: In addition to the victims of today’s bombing in Boston, please keep the...

Mon, 15 Apr 2013 20:37:42 -0400

wouldyouliketoseemymask:

In addition to the victims of today’s bombing in Boston, please keep the 55 victims of today’s bombing in Iraq in your thoughts.

"I’ve made it clear that on days like this today, there are no Republicans or Democrats. There are..."

Mon, 15 Apr 2013 20:35:23 -0400

““I’ve made it clear that on days like this today, there are no Republicans or Democrats. There are only Americans.””

- President Obama on the Boston attack (via silverlullabies)

"Boston. Fucking horrible. I remember, when 9/11 went down, my reaction was, “Well, I’ve had it..."

Mon, 15 Apr 2013 20:34:53 -0400

“

Boston. Fucking horrible.

I remember, when 9/11 went down, my reaction was, “Well, I’ve had it with humanity.”

But I was wrong. I don’t know what’s going to be revealed to be behind all of this mayhem. One human insect or a poisonous mass of broken sociopaths.

But here’s what I DO know. If it’s one person or a HUNDRED people, that number is not even a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of a percent of the population on this planet. You watch the videos of the carnage and there are people running TOWARDS the destruction to help out. (Thanks FAKE Gallery founder and owner Paul Kozlowski for pointing this out to me). This is a giant planet and we’re lucky to live on it but there are prices and penalties incurred for the daily miracle of existence. One of them is, every once in awhile, the wiring of a tiny sliver of the species gets snarled and they’re pointed towards darkness.

But the vast majority stands against that darkness and, like white blood cells attacking a virus, they dilute and weaken and eventually wash away the evil doers and, more importantly, the damage they wreak. This is beyond religion or creed or nation. We would not be here if humanity were inherently evil. We’d have eaten ourselves alive long ago.

So when you spot violence, or bigotry, or intolerance or fear or just garden-variety misogyny, hatred or ignorance, just look it in the eye and think, “The good outnumber you, and we always will.

”

- Patton Oswalt (on Facebook)

novemberrain93: boundedbyrealityy: People send their kids to school, kids get shot. People watch...

Mon, 15 Apr 2013 20:25:34 -0400

novemberrain93:

boundedbyrealityy:

People send their kids to school, kids get shot.

People watch batman, they get shot.

People run marathons for charity, they get bombed.

Where is the innocence in the world, is there even good left in us?

Teacher sacrifices her life to save children.

Hollywood cancels premiere and Christian Bale goes to honor victims.

People rush to donate their own blood to help out.

Of course there’s bad in the world, but it doesn’t necessarily outweigh the good.

x

Mon, 15 Apr 2013 20:21:49 -0400

x

Darren Criss at the PSArts Event [x]

Mon, 15 Apr 2013 20:20:01 -0400

Darren Criss at the PSArts Event [x]

Carey Mulligan | Vogue (May 2013)

Mon, 15 Apr 2013 20:14:40 -0400

Carey Mulligan | Vogue (May 2013)

asktrickstertrolls: pugsies: PLEASE READ. WILL NOT HURT TO AND...

Mon, 15 Apr 2013 20:13:49 -0400

asktrickstertrolls:

pugsies:

PLEASE READ. WILL NOT HURT TO AND FORWARD.

Kids are putting Drano, tin foil, and a little water in plastic drink bottles
and capping it up - leaving it on lawns, in mail boxes, in gardens, on
driveways etc. just waiting for you to pick it up intending to put it in the
rubbish, but you’ll never make it!!!
If the bottle is picked up, and the bottle is shaken even just a little - in
about 30 seconds or less it builds up enough gas which then explodes with
enough force to remove some your extremities. The liquid that comes out is
boiling hot as well.

Don’t pick up any plastic bottles that may be lying in your yards or in the
gutter, etc.

Pay attention to this. A plastic bottle with a cap. A little Drano. A little
water. A small piece of foil.
Disturb it by moving it; and BOOM!!

No fingers left and other serious effects to your face, eyes, etc.

Please ensure that everyone that may not have email access are also informed
of this.

Snopes confirms.

#GOD DAD I GOT YOUR STUPID FUCKING CHOCOLATE FROG CARD AGAIN....

Sun, 14 Apr 2013 22:57:07 -0400

#GOD DAD I GOT YOUR STUPID FUCKING CHOCOLATE FROG CARD AGAIN. WE GET IT YOU’RE THE BOY WHO LIVED. I JUST WANT A FUCKING LONGBOTTOM.

I can seriously imagine Albus and James swapping chocolate frog cards and all their friends are like ‘OMG THE BOY WHO LIVED GUYS’ and they don’t even bat an eyelid ‘Yeah got the real one at home bit of a tosser really’

bit of a tosser really

500% DONE WITH THIS FANDOM

BRITTANY PIERCE SPECIAL:↳ Being kind an angel actually...

Sun, 14 Apr 2013 22:29:43 -0400

BRITTANY PIERCE SPECIAL:
↳ Being ~~kind~~ an angel actually {requested}

“Family is a place where everyone loves you no matter what, and they accept you for who you are. I know I’m going to be a bridesmaid at Mike and Tina’s wedding, and I’m gonna be anxiously awaiting, just like everyone else, to see if their babies are Asian, too. When they find an operation to make Artie’s legs work again, I’m going to be there for his first steps. I love them. I love everyone in Glee Club. And I get to spend another year with everyone I love, so, I’m good.”

hey-assbutt-its-a-parade: finndicate: vjezze: Amsterdam is...

Sun, 14 Apr 2013 22:26:55 -0400

hey-assbutt-its-a-parade:

finndicate:

vjezze:

Amsterdam is turning rainbow for a visit of the Russian president Putin. The council of the city of Amsterdam has decided to hang out the gay pride flag on all council owned buildings and offices, in protest to Russia’s new anti-gay law.

there’s several of these as well;

pretty sure Amsterdam is now the sass capital of the world